The Goldilocks Project

Goldilocks and the Three Bears, the Happy Ending?

Once upon a time there were three Bears.

A Papa bear, a mama bear, and a little baby bear.

They all lived in a small house in the forest.

One morning Mama bear prepared breakfast. And the three Bears sat down to their bowls of porridge.

But the porridge was too hot! So the three Bears decided to go for a walk while the porridge cooled.

Soon after they left, along came a little girl. She knocked on the door. No one answered. So she went in. Her name was Goldilocks.

Goldilocks found herself in the kitchen. On the table she saw three bowls of porridge.

Goldilocks was hungry! So she sat down to eat. She tasted the big bowl of porridge. But it was too hot. Next she tasted the medium-sized bowl of porridge.

But it was too cold.

Then she tasted the little baby bowl of porridge. It was just right.

And she ate it all up.

Goldilocks was tired. She saw three chairs. She sat in the big chair. But it was too hard.

She sat in the medium-sized chair. But it was too soft.

Then she sat in the little baby chair. It was just right.

And then CRASH! The chair broke and Goldilocks fell to the floor.

Goldilocks was sleepy. She went upstairs. There she found three beds. She lay down in the big bed. But it was too hard. She lay down in the medium-sized bed. But it was too soft.

Then she lay down on the little baby bed. It was just right.

And Goldilocks was soon fast asleep.

And while she slept the three Bears came home.

Papa bear looked at the kitchen table and said, "Someone's been eating my porridge!"

"Someone's been eating my porridge!" said Mama bear.

"Someone's been eating my porridge!" said little baby bear. "And they ate it all up!"

"Someone's been sitting in my chair!" said Papa bear.

"Someone's been sitting in my chair!" said Mama bear.

"Someone's been sitting in my chair!" said little baby bear. "And they broke it to bits!"

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed!" said Papa bear.

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed!" said Mama bear.

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed!" said little baby bear. "And she's still here!"

And Goldilocks leapt from the bed, and tried to escape. But she was too slow. The three Bears jumped on her and ate her, leaving only the...

"I'm not publishing that!"

"Why not?"

"They ATE her! No one's going to be happy with that!"

"This story isn't about happiness. It's about the tragedy of real life. It's reality."

"But people don't like reality."

"It's good for them!"

"They won't buy it! I won't buy it. No one will buy it unless there's a happy ending!"

"Okay... okay... how about this..."

And Goldilocks jumped out of bed, leapt out the window, and ran home.

And the three Bears never saw her again.

"Can't we make it happier? Maybe discover that Goldilocks is their long-lost daughter?”

“They are Bears! She's human! How could she be their long-lost daughter?"

“We could make her a bear too."

“No! I have my integrity! If she's a bear, where's the conflict between man and nature?”

“I don't care about messages, I care about sales! Come on, work with me. There's got to be a happy ending in there somewhere."

"I'm not changing a thing. The message has to be there. Besides, what do you want? The girl escapes and gets home. If you push me any farther, I'm taking this to Random House."

"Oh, all right. The new ending stays. By the way, what's your next story?"

"I call it Little Red Riding Hood."

"And what happens in that story?"

"A grandma gets eaten by a wolf."

"Oh brother...."