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by Rick Walton
Once upon a time there were three bores. They lived together in a boring house in a boring forest. One of them was a little, small, wee bore. One was a middle-sized bore. And one was a great, huge bore. I'd tell you more about them but it's way too boring.
They each had a bowl for their porridge. The little, small, wee bore had a little bowl. The middle-sized bore had a middle- sized bowl. The great, huge bore had a huge bowl. And they were all boring, mud-colored bowls.
They each had a chair to sit in. The little, small, wee bore had a little chair. The middle-sized bore had a middle-sized chair. The great, huge bore had a huge chair. And they were all boring, mud-colored chairs.
And they each had a bed to sleep in. The little, small, wee bore had a little bed. The middle-sized bore had a middle-sized bed. The great, huge bore had a huge bed. And they were all boring, mud-colored beds.
One day, like they did every boring day, they made porridge for their breakfast, and poured it into their bowls. Then they went outside to stare at a rock while the porridge was cooling.
Meanwhile, a little girl called Goldilocks had had trouble sleeping. She'd been awake all night and had decided that maybe a nice walk would help her get to sleep. While she was walking she came upon the house. "What a boring little house," she said. "But it might be a good place to take a nap," and she went inside.
There she saw the porridge on the table. "What boring bowls," she said. "They should at least have some flowers on them." So she took some crayons from her purse and drew flowers on them.
Then she thought, maybe if I eat some of this porridge it will make me sleepy.
First she tasted the great, huge bore's porridge. It tasted like air. Then she tasted the middle-sized bore's porridge. It tasted like paper. Then she tasted the little, small, wee bore's porridge. It tasted like nothing. She just couldn't get down another bite of such boring food, even if it would help her get to sleep.
Then Goldilocks saw the chairs. Maybe if I sit down I will be able to fall asleep, she thought. First she sat in the great, huge bore's chair. It didn't feel good, didn't feel bad, didn't feel nothing at all. Definitely didn't make her feel sleepy. She sat down in the middle-sized bore's chair. It didn't feel bad, didn't feel good, didn't feel nothing at all. Didn't make her feel sleepy one bit. She sat down in the little, small, wee bore's chair. It didn't feel good, didn't feel bad, didn't feel nothing at all. She would never get to sleep in this chair.
Besides, they were so very, very boring. So Goldilocks took some pillows, needles and thread from her purse and embroidered some lovely cushions for the chairs.
Then Goldilocks went upstairs to look for the bedroom. Perhaps if she could lie down she could fall asleep. She found the beds in a very boring room. First she lay down on the great, huge bore's bed. It felt like nothing. She lay down on the middle- sized bore's bed. It felt like nothing. Then she lay down on the little, small, wee bore's bed. It felt like nothing. She was very tired, but she just couldn't get to sleep on a bed that felt like nothing. She wished she was back in her soft, down bed that wrapped itself warm around you. Maybe if she lied down in it now she could get to sleep. She decided she would do just that, go back to her own bed.
But first she had something to do.
Goldilocks took some bags of down, and some cloth, and some needle and thread from her purse, and began to make some soft comforters for the beds.
In the meantime the three bores had finished staring at the rock, so they came in to breakfast.
They looked at the bowls of porridge.
"These are not our bowls," said the great, huge bore. "They have pictures on them. We had better not eat the porridge in them."
Then they decided that they could use a sit-down after a hard morning of staring at a rock. They went over to their chairs.
"These are not our chairs," said the middle-sized bore. "They have cushions on them. We had better not sit on them."
Then the three bores decided that they were very tired, and they went upstairs to their bedrooms.
"These are not our beds," said the little, small, wee bore. "There is a girl on one. We have no girls on our beds."
"My name's Goldilocks," said Goldilocks as she sat on the boring wee bed and began sewing on the first comforter.
"Nice to meet you Goldilocks," said the three bores. "Now let us tell you what we did this morning." And for the next six hours they told Goldilocks all about staring at the rock.
But Goldilocks didn't hear a thing they said, for the minute they began talking, she fell asleep.
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