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a Bulrovian tale
adapted by Rick Walton
Once upon a time there lived an old, old man, and he had a huge, huge duck.
One morning very early, out went the old, old man to get an egg from his huge, huge duck. The old, old man said:
But the huge, huge duck would not lay an egg. She just sat there and QUACKED.
So the old, old man cried:
But the huge, huge duck would not lay an egg.
"Oh dear, oh dear," said the old, old man. "What's an old, old man to do with such a huge, huge duck as you?" And the old, old man tried to swat the huge, huge duck on the rear, but the huge, huge duck stuck her rear high in the air where the old, old man couldn't reach it.
So off went the old, old man to his grandmother's house. "Grandmother," he said, "the huge, huge duck won't lay an egg. She lifts her rear into the air and she won't let me swat her. What is an old, old man to do?"
"You could find a long stick, but..."
"Oh thank you, grandmother," said the old, old man and he ran off to the hazel tree to get a stick.
When he reached the hazel tree, he said,
But the stick would not break, and the old, old man went back to his grandmother's house.
"Grandmother, grandmother, the stick will not break. The huge, huge duck won't lay an egg. She lifts her rear into the air and she won't let me swat her. What is an old, old man to do?"
"You could have the butcher tie the huge, huge duck down, but..."
"Oh thank you, grandmother," said the old, old man and he ran off to the butcher.
When he reached the butcher, the old, old man said,
But the butcher was busy sweeping his shop, and didn't have time to tie down the duck. So the old, old man went back to his grandmother's house.
"Grandmother, grandmother, butcher will not tie. Stick will not break. The huge, huge duck won't lay an egg. She lifts her rear into the air and she won't let me swat her. What is an old, old man to do?"
"You could have the horseman ride your huge, huge duck until she laid her egg, but..."
"Oh thank you, grandmother," said the old, old man and he ran off to the horseman.
When he reached the horseman, the old, old man said,
But the horseman said he'd never ridden a duck and never wanted to ride a duck. So the old, old man went back to his grandmother's house.
"Grandmother, grandmother, horseman will not ride. Butcher will not tie. Stick will not break. The huge, huge duck won't lay an egg. She lifts her rear into the air and she won't let me swat her. What is an old, old man to do?"
"STOP, old, old man," said grandmother. "You do not finish listening to me. You could find a long stick, or you could have the butcher tie, or you could have the horseman ride, but still the huge, huge duck won't lay until she is ready. So go home and wait for your egg."
The old, old man went home.
He looked under the huge, huge duck, but there was no egg. The old, old man had no egg for breakfast.
At noon he looked under the huge, huge duck, but there was no egg. The old, old man had no egg for lunch.
But when afternoon chores were done, the old, old man looked under the huge, huge duck, and there was a huge, huge egg.
And the old, old man invited his grandmother over, and together they had a very nice dinner.
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