|
|
|
|
by Rick Walton
When Jack was a little, little boy, he didn't mind his mother.
"Jack, you are not allowed to be King," said his mother, but Jack didn't listen to his mother and became king anyway. That made King Jack's mother mad, but what could she do? You can't spank a king, can you? If you do, he'll cut off your head.
So Jack moved into a big castle, that was surrounded by a mote filled with alligators. And while he was in the castle he ate everything he wanted, and slept when he wanted, and played when he wanted, and would have watched television when he wanted, except they hadn't invented television yet.
And Jack was happy for many days, and many weeks, and many years, until one day he became tired of eating, sleeping, and playing and decided there was something missing.
"What's missing?" he asked his chief advisor, who happened to be his mother. (She couldn't beat him, so she joined him.)
"Well," said his mother, "You're a king. And wherever you find a king you're supposed to also find a queen. But look around you. Do you see a queen?"
Jack looked around him. He couldn't see a queen. "No," he said, "I don't see a queen anywhere!"
"That's your problem," said Jack's mother. "You need to have a queen.
"Where can I get a queen?" asked Jack. "Do I need to hire one?"
"No," said Jack's mother, "You have to marry one."
"Oh," said Jack. "Okay. Bring one here and I'll marry her."
"It's not that easy, Jack. First we'll have a party and invite all of the girls in the kingdom. Then you choose the one you like, and you'll marry her, and she'll be your queen."
So Jack announced that he would have a big party, and that all the girls between the ages of six and ninety-two were invited. Everyone was excited. All the girls in the kingdom made beautiful dresses, and put on their best jewelry, and came to the party.
Jack had a terrible time at the party. He didn't see anyone he wanted to be his queen. He thought queens should be fun, or what use would it be to have one. All the girls at the party were nice, but they were too stuffy. They wouldn't ride down the bannisters with him, and they wouldn't have a pie-eating contest with him, and none of them wanted to go swimming in the mote, even when Jack promised them that he had taken out all the alligators' teeth a long time ago. (Alligators without teeth look funny. And all they can eat is soup.)
So Jack just stood around and talked with the girls. They talked about their dresses, and about how smart they were, and about how pretty they were, and about what they would do if they were queen. Jack was bored.
And then she entered. Everyone noticed that she was beautiful, everyone but Jack that is. He noticed that she entered the room by riding down the bannister! Then she ran over to him, grabbed his arm, and dragged him over to the food table. She bet him her left shoe that she could eat more than he could. They dove into the goodies. Meat, and salad, and pie flew all over the place, most of it into the mouths of Jack and the strange girl. And just when Jack was about ready to give up, the clock began to chime.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve.
The strange girl dropped a turkey leg, shouted, "Oh, No!" and ran from the castle.
Jack stood there holding a loaf of bread in one hand, and the girl's left shoe in another.
Jack was in love. He knew who he wanted to be his queen. But he didn't know who she was.
He looked at the shoe. It was a real big shoe! No girl had feet that big, no girl but the girl he was in love with. He knew how to find her.
"Mother," Jack said, "I want you to go throughout the country and try this shoe on all of the girls in the country. The girl this shoe fits will be my queen.
Girls all over the country began to eat and eat, hoping their left feet would grow bigger. They hit their feet with hammers. They stubbed their toes. But no girl could get her foot big enough to fit in the shoe. They were disappointed.
So was Jack, for his mother had found no one who would fit the shoe.
Jack was sad. He decided he needed to take a walk. He snuck out of the castle, because he wanted to be all alone. He took the big shoe, because he wanted to think about the girl who was to be his queen.
He hiked to the top of a hill behind the castle. He sat down to think.
"Hello," said a voice behind him. Jack turned around. He was staring into the two biggest feet he'd ever seen! He grabbed the shoe, and slipped it gently on the huge left foot. It fit perfectly!
"My queen!" cried Jack.
"Am I?" asked the girl.
"Why, if you will be?" said Jack. "Please!"
"Oh, I guess so," said the girl. "I haven't got much planned for the next little while anyway."
"How wonderful!" said Jack. "Oh, I don't even know your name?"
"It's Cinderjill," said the girl.
"What a beautiful name!" said Jack. And he stood up, helped Cinderjill up, and hand-in-hand they began walking down the hill.
But before they were halfway down the hill, Jack tripped over his new queen's big feet, and they both tumbled to the bottom.
And although Cinderjill broke her nose, and King Jack broke his crown, they both lived happily ever after.
   |
          |
|