Help find the cure

Silly Poems

by Rick Walton

 

I Remember Stupid Things

 

I remember stupid things,

Like when Aunt Mable lost her face,

And how we got on hands and knees,

But couldn't find it anyplace.

And how she goes without a nose,

How on her head there's just a hat.

And it's all true, I swear. For I

Remember stupid things like that.

 

Nonsense

 

Twaddle, bunk and tommyrot,

Blather and tomfoolery,

Trumpery and poppycock,

Bosh and rigmaroolery.

 

Slaver, drivel, blah and tosh,

Balderdash and hooey,

Folderol and fudge kibosh,

Hokum and balooey.

 

'Tis Morning

 

'Tis morning and the cackling dogs

Are chased by cats into their holes.

The horses stop to eat the hogs,

And give the feathers to the foals.

And round and round, the oak trees fly

Dropping fruit into the sky.

 

Hoggerel (A Pig Jig)

 

Oh, three little pigs,

Yes, three little pigs,

Oh three little pigs are we

Oui, Wee.

We're piggy when we're piggy

And we're piggy when we're piggy

And we're piggy in the deep blue sea

Oui, Wee

And we're piggy in the deep blue sea.

 

A Doggie's "Little Boy Blue"

 

Witta bow bwoo

Ba Bwo wow wow,

Ba Yip bubba bow wow,

Ba Bow bubba arf.

Wow ibba witta bow

Bubba ba yip?

Be bubba ba wow wow,

Baruff barip.

 

Please Don't Kill My Antelope

 

Please don't kill my antelope,

He hasn't bothered you.

He hasn't kicked you in the shin

Or spit inside your shoe.

He hasn't bitten off your nose

Or stomped on your rear end.

Please don't kill my antelope,

My antelope's my friend.

And now,
thanks to Alberto Jose Miyara, Argentina,
who translated the poem,
"Please Don't Kill My Antelope"
in Spanish.

No Te Metas Con Mi Antelope

No te metas con mi antelope,
que no te hizo ningun mal.
No se tomo tu bebida,
no se comio tu cereal.
No hizo sus necesidades
en el frente de tu casa,
y cuando hiciste una pizza
no hundio la pata en la masa.
No lo insultes ni le pegues,
o te las veras conmigo
No te metas con mi antelope,
mi antelope es mi amigo.

To All Those Children

Who Flew In

On Wilson,

The Cat

 

Dear ladies and gents,

Your return flight

For beyond the room

Has been cancelled,

Due to furballs,

An excess of catnip,

And the current position

Of the moon.

 

If you will please remain seated,

Another cat will be along

Shortly.

 

Thank you.

 

Kangaroo Cheer

 

Kangaroo! Kangaree!

Kanga ciss boom-bah!

Marsupial! Marsupial!

Rah-Rah-Rah!

 

Duck-Dogs

 

Duck dogs dawdle

As they waddle

Up the walk,

And they talk

About the weather

In the Netherlands

And Spain,

And they drink drips dry

Around the house,

Around the clock,

And they wonder

As they wander,

"Will it rain?

Will it rain?"

 

My Dream

 

I dreamed a dream on Saturday

While swimming in a lake.

I dreamed I was a jelly bean

On top a piece of cake.

And then a young girl picked me off

And bit my head in two,

Then dropped me on the kitchen floor

And smashed me with her shoe.

 

In One Fell Swoop

 

In one fell swoop

Went the chicken coop

With the chickens and the roosters

And the newborn chicks.

And the barn that was loaded

With straw, exploded

And the air was full

Of straw and sticks.

The horse went flying

And the goats were crying

From the very tip-tops

of the sycamore trees.

And the dog and the sheep

Were piled in a heap,

And all that I'd done

Was sneeze!

(Published in the August, 2000 Spider Magazine)

 

They Said It Couldn't Be Done

 

They said it couldn't be done.

They laughed when I said I would do it.

They said that it couldn't be done.

I rolled up my sleeves and went to it.

 

I struggled, I strove, I strained.

I fought at it day and night.

They said that it couldn't be done.

They were right.

 

King of Oregon

 

If I were king of Oregon

I'd put my bright blue sneakers on

And ron and ron and ron and ron

Through all the streets of Oregon.

 

My Nose is Like an Iron Cannon

 

My nose is like an iron cannon

Blasting in the wind.

"Load the powder! Tamp it down!"

The swarthy captain grinned.

I feel an itching coming,

Trembling in my nose.

"Batten down the hatches, mate-ees,

Watch it! Thar she blows!"

 

Clicky-Clacky

 

The click-clack-clatter

Of the platter and the plate

In the sink of soapy-sudsy

After dinnertime is ate

Is the shimmy shiny singing

Of the oily doily life,

In the mirky merry marching

Of the spoony forky knife.

 

4

 

One and one and one and one

are a

one and one and one and one

are a

two and two

are a

two and two

are a

one and one and one and one

three and one

three and one

are a

one and one and one and one

are a

four

are a

four

are a

four

four

four

are a

one and one and one and one

are a

one and one and one and one

are a

two and two

are a

three and one

are a

four.

 
 

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Picture Credits
Original bunny climbing rope picture by Paige Miglio (copyright 2000 ©) from One More Bunny authored by Rick Walton.
Original purple monster picture by Renee Williams-Andriani (copyright 1998 ©) from Really, Really Bad School Jokes authored by Rick Walton.
Original bullfrog seated picture by Chris McAllister (copyright 1999 ©) from Bullfrog Pops! authored by Rick Walton.
Electronic modifications by Ann Walton.