Bentley Out Of Shape
A Collection of Clerihews
by Rick Walton
-
- Said C.P.E. Bach
- "All people do is talk
- About my father!
- What a bother."
-
- Billy the Kid
- Did what he did,
- Was caught,
- And shot.
-
- Hernan Cortes
- Says,
- "It's just me.
- You can trust me."
-
- If Dolly Madison
- Had a son
- She'd name him
- Jim.
-
- Joan of Arc,
- Had she lived in Manhattan and preached in Central Park
- Would have been ignored
- And eventually grown bored.
-
- Judge Roy Bean did not like villains,
- Robbers, thieves or unnecessary killin's.
- When he caught an outlaw he'd first harangue him,
- Then he'd hang him.
-
- Juliet
- Would often forget
- To send Romeo
- Homeo.
-
- Lewis Carroll
- Loved to see people in peril,
- Though he bore no personal malice
- To Alice.
-
- Nostradamus
- At night would put on his psychedelic pajamas,
- Down two pints of sour cream,
- And dream.
-
- Rene Descartes
- Was very smart,
- Learned his alphabet,
- And what else, I forget.
-
- Shirley Temple Black
- Was quite a star way back
- Simply
- For being dimply.
-
- Since the heroes of all the tales he unravelled
- Travelled,
- Homer
- Was a misnomer.
-
- When Gustave Mahler
- Was smaller
- The planets in the heavens
- Numbered just seven.
-
- Whenever Plato
- Ate a baked potato,
- He would ponder on
- Why the shell had stayed, and where the rest had gone.
-
- I
- Someday will try
- To write a clerihew
- About you.
-
Picture Credits
Original bunny climbing rope picture by Paige Miglio (copyright 2000 ©) from One More Bunny authored by Rick Walton.
Original purple monster picture by Renee Williams-Andriani (copyright 1998 ©) from Really, Really Bad School Jokes authored by Rick Walton.
Original bullfrog seated picture by Chris McAllister (copyright 1999 ©) from Bullfrog Pops! authored by Rick Walton.
Electronic modifications by Ann Walton.
(from Rick Walton's Fun Stuff)
Last updated: October 25, 2002
Copyright 1997 © Rick Walton. All rights reserved.
