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Darwinity

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Power to thine elbow, thou newest of sciences,
     All the old landmarks are ripe for decay;
Wars are but shadows, and so are alliances,
     Darwin the great is the man of the day.

All other 'ologies want an apology;
     Bread's a mistake--Science offers a stone;
Nothing is true but Anthropobiology--
     Darwin the great understands it alone.

Mighty the great evolutionist teacher is,
     Licking Morphology clean into shape;
Lord! what an ape the Professor or Preacher is,
     Ever to doubt his descent from an ape.

Man's an Anthropoid--he cannot help that, you know--
     First evoluted from Pongos of old;
He's but a branch of the catarrhine cat, you know--
     Monkey I mean--that's an ape with a cold.

Fast dying out are man's later Appearances,
     Cataclysmitic Geologies gone;
Now of Creation completed the clearance is,
     Darwin alone you must anchor upon.

Primitive Life--Organisms were chemical,
     Busting spontaneous under the sea;
Purely subaqueous, panaquademical,
     Was the original Crystal of Me.

I'm the Apostle of mighty Darwinity,
     Stands for Divinity--sounds much the same--
Apo-theistico-Pan-Asininity
     Only can doubt whence the lot of us came.

Down on your knees, Superstition and Flunkeydom!
     Won't you accept such plain doctrines instead?
What is so simple as primitive Monkeydom
     Born in the sea with a cold in its head?

Herman Merivale


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Picture Credits
Original bunny climbing rope picture by Paige Miglio (copyright 2000 ©) from One More Bunny authored by Rick Walton.
Original purple monster picture by Renee Williams-Andriani (copyright 1998 ©) from Really, Really Bad School Jokes authored by Rick Walton.
Original bullfrog seated picture by Chris McAllister (copyright 1999 ©) from Bullfrog Pops! authored by Rick Walton.
Electronic modifications by Ann Walton.
Last updated: December 22, 2004