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| These stories provided by children's author Rick Walton's Online Library. |
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Boots Who Made the Princess Say "That's a Story" |
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ONCE upon a time there was a King who had a daughter, and she was such a dreadful storyteller that the like of her was not to be found far or near. So the King gave out, that if anyone could tell such a string of lies as would get her to say, "That's a story," he should have her to wife, and half the kingdom besides. Well, many came, as you may fancy, to try their luck, for everyone would have
"Good morning," he said, "and thank you for nothing." "Good morning," said she, "and the same to you." Then she went on-
"You haven't such a fine farmyard as ours, I'll be bound; for when two shepherds stand, one at each end of it, and blow their ram's horns, the one can't hear the other."
"Haven't we though!" answered Boots; "ours is far bigger; for when a calf starts to cross a field, it is a full-grown cow when it reaches the other end."
"I dare say," said the Princess. "Well, but you haven't such a big ox, after all, as ours yonder; for when two men sit, one on each horn, they can't touch each other with a tweny-foot rule."
"Stuff!" said Boots; "is that all? Why, we have an ox who is so big, that when two men sit, one on each horn, and each blows his great mountain-trumpet, they can't hear one another."
"I dare say," said the Princess; "but you haven't so much milk as we, I'll be bound; for we milk our cows into great pails, and carry them indoors, and empty them into great tubs, and so we make great, great cheeses."
"Oh! you do, do you?" said Boots. "Well, we milk ours into great tubs, and then we put them in carts and drive them indoors, and then we turn them out into great brewing vats, and so we make cheeses as big as a great house. We had, too, a dun mare to tread the cheese well together when it was making; but once she tumbled down into the cheese, and we lost her; and after we had eaten at this cheese seven years, we came upon a great dun mare, alive and kicking. Well, once after that I was going to drive this mare to the mill, and her backbone snapped in two; but I wasn't put out, not I; for I took a spruce sapling, and put it into her for a backbone, and she had no other backbone all the while we had her. But the sapling grew up into such a tall tree, that I climbed right up to the sky by it, and when I got there I saw a lady sitting and spinning the foam of the sea into pigs'-bristle ropes; but just then the spruce-fir broke short off, and I couldn't get down again; so the lady let me down by one of the ropes, and down I slipped straight into a fox's hole, and who should sit there but my mother and your father cobbling shoes; and just as I stepped in, my mother gave your father such a box on the ear that it made his whiskers curl."
"That's a story!" said the Princess, "my father never did any such thing in all his born days!"
So Boots got the Princess to wife, and half the kingdom besides.
(from The Junior Classics: Volume One, Fairy and Wonder Tales , selected and arranged by William Patten)
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