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The Biter Bit |
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ONCE UPON A TIME there lived a man called Simon, who was very rich, but at the same time stingy and miserly. He had a housekeeper named Nina, a clever capable woman, and as she did her work carefully and conscientiously, her master had the greatest respect for her.
Simon had been one of the gayest and most active youths of the neighborhood, but as he grew old and still he found it difficult to walk, and his faithful servant urged him to get a horse, to save his poor old bones. At last Simon gave way to his housekeeper and betook himself to the market where he had seen a mule, which he thought would just suit him and which he bought for seven gold pieces.
Now, three merry rascals hanging about the market place much preferred living on other people's goods to working for their own living. As soon as they saw that Simon had bought a mule, one of them said:
`My friends, this mule must be ours before we are many hours older.'
`But how shall we manage it s'' asked one of them.
`We must all three station ourselves along the old man's homeward way, and must each in his turn declare the mule a donkey. If we only stick to it the mule will soon be ours.'
This proposal quite satisfied the others, and they separated as agreed. Now when Simon came by, the first rogue said to him:
`God bless you, my fine gentleman:
`Thanks for your courtesy,' said Simon.
`Where have you-been?' asked the thief.
`To the market,' was the reply.
`And what did you buy there?' continued the rogue.
`This mule.'
`Which mule?'
`The one I'm sitting upon, to be sure,' replied Simon.
`Are you in earnest or only joking?'
`What do you mean?'
`It seems to me you have a donkey, not a mule.'
`A donkey? What rubbish!' screamed Simon, and without another word he rode on his way. After a few hundred yards he met the second rogue, who addressed him:
`Good day, dear sir, where are you coming from?'
`From the market,' answered Simon.
`Did things go cheap?' asked the other.
`I bought this mule on which you see me.'
`Is it possible you bought that beast for a mule?'
`Why certainly.'
`But, good heavens, it is nothing but a donkey!'
`A donkey,' repeated Simon. `You don't mean to say so. If a single other person tells me that, I shall make him a present of the wretched animal.' With these words he continued his way, and very soon met the third knave, who said to hire:
`God bless you, sir. Are you by any chance coming from the market?'
`Yes, I am,' replied Simon.
`And what bargain did you drive there?' asked the cunning fellow.
`I bought this mule I am riding.'
`A mule! Do you wish to make a fool of me?'
`I'm speaking in sober earnest,' said Simon. `It would not occur to me to make a joke of it.'
`Oh, my poor friend,' cried the rascal, `don't you see that it is a donkey and not a mule? You have been taken in by some wretched cheats.'
`You are the third person in the last two hours who has told me the same thing,' said Simon, `but I couldn't believe it.' Dismounting, he spoke, `Take the animal, I make you a present of it'
The rascal took the beast, thanked him kindly, and rode on to join his comrades, while Simon went home on foot.
As soon as the old man reached home, he told his housekeeper how he had bought a mule, that turned out to be a donkey-at least, so he had been assured by several people he had met on the road, and in disgust he had at last given it away.
`Oh, you simpleton!' cried Nina. `Didn't you see they were only playing you a trick? Really, I thought you had more gumption than that. They wouldn't have fooled me in that way.'
`Never mind,' replied Simon, `I will play them one worth two of that. Depend upon it they will not be content with the donkey, but they will try to get something more, or I am much mistaken.'
Now there lived in the village not far from Simon's house, a peasant who had two goats, so alike it was impossible to distinguish one from the other. Simon bought them both, paid as small a price as he could, arid led them home with him. He told Nina as he was going to invite some friends to dinner, to roast some veal, boil a pair of chickens, make a good savory, and bake the best tart she could make. Then he took one of the goats and tied it to a post in the courtyard where there was grass to eat. But he bound a cord round the neck of the other goat and led it to the market.
Hardly had he arrived when the three rogues who had his mule perceived him, and coming up to him, said, `Welcome, Simon, what brings you here? Are you on the look out for a bargain?'
`I've come to get some provisions,' he answered, `because some friends are coming to dine with me today, and it would give me much pleasure if you were to honor me with your company also:
The accomplices willingly accepted this invitation. After Simon had made all his purchases, he tied them on to the goat's back, and said to it, in the presence of the three cheats:
`Go home now and tell Nina to roast the veal and boil the chickens and tell her to prepare a savory with herbs and bake the best tart she can make. Have you followed me? Then go, and Heaven's blessing go with you.'
As soon as it felt itself free, the laden goat trotted off as quickly as it could, and to this day nobody knows what became of it. Bur Simon, with his three friends and some others he had picked up, returned home.
When he and his guests entered the courtyard, they noticed the goat tied to the post quietly chewing the cud. They were not a little astonished, for of course they thought it was the same goat Simon had sent home laden with provisions. As soon as they reached the house Simon said to the housekeeper:
`Well, Nina, have you done what I told the goat to tell you to do?'
The woman, who at once understood her master, answered, `Certainly I have. The veal is roasted and the chickens boiled.'
`That's right,' said Simon.
When the three rogues saw the cooked meats and the tart in the oven and heard Nina's words, they were nearly beside themselves with amazement. How were they to get the goat into their own possession? At last, toward the end of the meal, one of them said to him:
`My worthy host, you must sell your goat to us.'
Simon replied he was most unwilling to part with the creature, no amount of money would make up to him for its loss. Still, if they were quite set on it, he would let them have the goat for fifty gold pieces.
The knaves paid down the fifty gold pieces at once, and left the house, leading the goat with them. When they reached home, they said to their wives, `You needn't cook the dinner tomorrow till we send the provisions home.'
The following day they went to the market and bought chickens and vegetables. After they had packed them on the back of the goat they told it what dishes they wished their wives to prepare. As soon as the goat felt itself free, it ran as quickly as it could and was very soon lost to sight. As far as is known it was never heard of again.
When the dinner hour approached, all three went home and asked their wives if the goat had returned with the necessary provisions and told what they wished prepared for their meal.
`Oh, you blockheads,' cried their wives, `how could you believe for a moment that a goat would do the work of a servant maid? You have been made to look pretty foolish.'
When the three comrades saw that Simon had turned the tables on them, and had their fifty gold pieces, they flew into such a rage they made up their minds to kill him and seizing their weapons went to his house.
But the sly old man, terrified for fear the three rogues would do him harm, was on his guard, and said to his housekeeper, `Nina, take this bladder, which is filled with blood, and hide it under your cloak. When these thieves come I'll lay all the blame on you and will pretend to be so angry with you that I will run at you with my knife and pierce the bladder with it. You must fall on the ground as if dead, and leave the rest to me:
Hardly had Simon said these words than the three rogues appeared and fell on him to kill him.
`My friends,' called out Simon to them, `I am in no way to blame. Perhaps my housekeeper has done you some injury of which I know nothing.' With these words, he struck Nina with his knife and pierced the bladder filled with blood. Instantly the housekeeper fell down as if dead and the blood streamed all over the ground.
Then Simon cried out in a loud voice, `Unhappy wretch that I am! What have I done? Like a madman I have killed the woman who is the prop and stay of my old age. How could I go on living without her?'
Then he seized a pipe, and when he had blown into it for some time, Nina sprang up alive and well. The rogues were more amazed than ever. They forgot their anger and, buying the pipe for two hundred gold pieces, went joyfully home.
Not long after this one of them quarreled with his wife, and in his rage he thrust his knife into her breast and she fell dead on the ground. Then he took Simon's pipe and blew into it with all his might, in the hope of calling his wife back to life. He blew in vain, for the poor soul was as dead as a doornail.
The same thing happened to the second and to the third rogue so now all three were without wives. Full of wrath they ran to Simon's house, and put him into a sack, meaning to drown him in the neighboring river. On their way there, however, a sudden noise threw them into such panic that they dropped the sack with Simon in it and ran for their lives.
Soon after a shepherd passed by with his flock. While he was following the sheep, pausing here and there by the wayside to browse on the tender grass, he heard a pitiful voice wailing:
`They insist on my taking her and I don't want her, for I am too old and I really can't have her.'
The shepherd was very much startled. At last he perceived the sack in which Simon was hidden, opened it, and discovered Simon repeating his dismal complaint. The shepherd asked him why he had been left there tied up in a sack.
Simon replied that the king of the country had insisted on giving him one of his daughters as a wife, but that he refused the honor because he was too old and too frail. The simpleminded shepherd, who believed his story implicitly, asked him:
`Do you think the king of the country would give his daughter to me?'
`Yes, certainly, I know he would,' answered Simon, `if you were tied up in this sack instead of me.'
Then getting out of the sack, he tied the confiding shepherd up in it instead, and at his request fastened it securely and drove the sheep on himself.
An hour had scarcely passed when the three rogues returned to the place where they had left Simon in the sack. Without opening it, one of them seized it and threw it into the river.
The three rogues set out for home. On their way they noticed a flock of sheep grazing not far from the road. They longed to steal a few of the lambs but they were more than startled to recognize Simon, who they thought had drowned in the river. They asked him how he had managed to get out of the river, to which he replied:
`Get along with you-you are no better than silly donkeys If you had only drowned me in deeper water I would have returned with three times as many sheep.'
When the three rogues heard this, they said to him, `Oh, dear Simon, tie us up in sacks and throw us into the river that we may give up our thieving ways and become the owners of flocks.'
`I am ready,' answered Simon, `to do what you wish. There is nothing in the world I would not do for you.'
So he took three strong sacks and put a man in each of them, fastened them up so tightly they couldn't get out, and then he threw them all into the river. And that was the end of the three rogues. But Simon returned home to his faithful Nina rich in flocks and gold and lived for many a year in health and happiness.
[Kletke.]
(from The Green Fairy Book , by Andrew Lang)
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