How to Create Your Own Slang

Maybe you want to set up a secret language with your friends, maybe you want to create slang that is not given in this book, or maybe you just have an awful memory and can't remember your rhyme slang when you need it. Whatever your situation, it's easy to create your own slang. Just do the following:

Decide what you want to say.
Pick out key words in what you want to say. These are the words you will change to slang.
Think of a word or phrase that rhymes with each word you chose in #2.
When you say what you want to say, say the rhyming word or phrase instead of the original word.

Now that was so easy I'm starting to wonder whether you even need this section. But just in case you do, let's go on and try a real-life experience in creating rhyme slang.

You are in your school class. Sitting next to you is your best friend, Pumpernickel Eggwart. You and Pumpernickel have spent hours and hours in pleasant conversation in rhyme slang.

Behind you sits Liverfester Crinkles, the class tattle-tale, who tells your teacher everything that you say to your best friend, Pumpernickel.

You want to tell Pumpernickel that your teacher has a robin's egg in her hair, but you don't want Liverfester to know what you're saying, because you're afraid that if Liverfester hears you, he'll tell the teacher, and she'll remove the egg before it hatches.

So what do you do?

You think, I want to tell Pumpernickel "the teacher has a robin's egg in her hair."

You decide that the first word you want to change is "teacher." "Creature", "feature", "bleacher", you think. "Creature", you decide. But not just any creature, "Alien creature". Perfect.

"The alien creature has a robin's..." Right offhand you can't think of anything that rhyme's with "robin's," so you decide to skip it.

"The alien creature has a robin's egg..." "Leg, beg, keg, peg, nutmeg," you think. You decide that "broken leg" would fit quite nicely, thank you.

So now you have "the alien creature has a robin's broken leg in her ..." what? "bear, chair, fair, pear, square, stair, nightmare," you think. Although your first instinct is to do something with "nightmare," you finally settle on "grizzly bear."

This whole process, thanks to your superior computer brain, has only taken a couple of seconds.

And now you turn to your best friend, Pumpernickel, and say very seriously, "The alien creature has a robin's broken leg in her grizzly bear."

Liverfester, of course, has heard every word you said, and rushes up to your teacher to repeat your message. Your teacher gets a funny look on her face, and immediately sends Liverfester to see the school psychiatrist.

Pumpernickel, being as bright as you are, immediately figures out what you're trying to say, looks at the teacher's hair, and covers his mouth to keep from laughing out loud.

You have just completed a successful experience in rhyme slang.

Easy, wasn't it.