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| Where did you get the idea for this book? | It's a true story. It really happened to me. |
| What kind of sport did the boy get his trophy for? | The ostrich-egg carrying marathon. |
| Have you ever won any sports trophies? | No, but I've picked up a couple of great ones at a garage sale. |
| What time does the boy have to get up in the morning? | You look at the picture and tell me. |
| What time do you have to get up in the morning? | I don't have to get up in the morning. But I usually do anyway. |
| Why did the king want the boy to eat a banana split? | Because in his kingdom there are just too many banana splits sitting around, and he's trying to get rid of them. |
| Whose pictures are on the hallway of the boy's house? | Mine. Including the rare photos of me as a little girl and as a mustachioed skinny guy. |
| What songs do pirate musicians play on accordions? | That's not an accordion. That's a two-handed butter-churn. Pirates LOVE butter. |
| How come the boy's mother doesn't make sure he gets to school on time? Where is she all morning? | She's outside shampooing her llamas. |
| What turned the refrigerator into a rocket? | Six-month old blue-cheese lasagna. |
| Has your refrigerator ever turned into a rocket? | No, but my refrigerator door has often been (old, bad pun alert!) a jar. |
| What planet is the monster from? | The planet of the mutant Barney monsters. |
| How come nobody came into Burgers R Us for twelve days? | Because no one ever comes into Burgers R Us. Their burgers are inedible, which hte alien will discover when he gets home. |
| How come his Mom didn't call the police? | She didn't know the number for 911. |
| Can I have an alien golfball? | Sure. All you have to do is find an alien and give him a trillion hamburgers. |
| How come none of your stories have two parents? | All of my stories have two parents. But one of the parents is at work. Someone has to pay the mortgage. |
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